A Very Trying Day

Today was a very trying day.

This is the thought that kept entering my head this afternoon.  It is just one of those “trying” times.  If you look up the definition of trying – it has quite negative connotations.  These synonyms perfectly summed up my mood and my general feeling about the day (stressful, tough, difficult, tiresome).

I was struggling with a toddler who wouldn’t nap.  For the first time ever, he actually crawled over the side of the crib and came down the stairs and surprised me.  It was the start of my trying afternoon…

I was trying to have my quiet time.  That never happened.  Then I spent the next hour or two trying to get my toddler back into his crib for a nap.  (Anyone who has ever had a toddler knows that these tiny humans have incredible  determination and will-power and a large human cannot always get a tiny human to do what it wants the tiny human to do.)  So that didn’t happen.  I thought maybe he would just lay beside me in my bed while we watched television and we could both fall asleep.  Nope.  I was trying to keep my eyes open the whole time as I was completely exhausted and longing for even a few minutes shut-eye.  Luke was trying everything in his power for that not to happen. I was trying to maintain my patience as he was poking me in the eye balls yelling, “Eyes!  Mommy’s eyes!”, stepping on my hair and crawling on me as if I were his own personal jungle gym.  I am too old, too tired, and too grumpy for this today I thought.  I’m trying not to get angry.  Honestly, I’m trying.

I’m trying! I’m really trying here.

When I looked into his dark brown eyes as he stared at me, my mood softened. This beautiful baby boy is a gift.  He is not a burden or an inconvenience.  This is my child. These words should not define a day I have with this beautiful boy. It should not be “bothersome, infuriating, or hard to endure”.  Perhaps for a fleeting moment I am allowed to feel these feelings, but then I need to get perspective.  I am trying to remind myself this is just a bad mood I am experiencing.  A trying day?  How dare I use this term.  There are people in the world who are experiencing  far worse times than something like this minor upset in my day.  I am trying to change my mood.

Now I am trying not to laugh as he is poking me in the face again; this time shoving his finger in my mouth. “Mommy’s teeth!” he exclaims with excitement and not even a hint of tiredness.  He is just a little boy.  He is trying to show me things, tell me things, and just spend time with me.  He is excited to learn about the world about him.  He is on an amazing journey and I am his tour guide.  I am trying to be the best I can be for him.  I am trying to remember this day, this moment, this beautiful boy in all his greatness.  I will give him my best and remember he is just a little boy.  I will love him with all my heart. I will treasure all the moments and all the days I have with my baby boy.
At least, I will try.

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